This Is How I Felt As You Were Leaving

In the afternoon summer heat, she told me,


‘What ever happens, just leave me there!’


Words can not even come close to describe


How the features of my face would suggest


The ways of which the tiny strings of my heart were breaking




As she told me,




Following one last hug


One last physical connection withering away to a memory


As it was time to go


Watching you walk through that gate marked ‘passengers only’


As you were all set and ready for the annual pilgrimage


Something, to me, is as glorious as it is terrifying


Pushing your luggage cart




Was one of the hardest things I had yet to endure


It took every atom of my being


To stay my ground and not run towards you


To hold you longer


And kiss you until someone had to physically push me away


It was so hard to keep that stone face of mine


Without my eyes watering away


But you didn’t look back to see that state of me


And I’m thankful you didn’t


Because it wasn’t a pretty sight to see


I kept thinking


How often do I take people for granted


The people the I hold most dear


Not cherishing the time we have together


Not holding them closer




Not taking enough pictures with them




Not sharing my love for them enough


Why do I always count on seeing the people I love again


Why am I so sure?


But no more


You will come back to me, for I know


In my tough loving arms, you’ll see


That little girl you’ve raised to be


Is just like you, you’d see.


You’ll come back to me.


For my mother.